November 2011
WatchActually here’s a lot better video of me riding.
WatchMe riding a mechanical bull for a little while, I wish the guy had upped the difficulty level, it started off way too slow.
October 2011
I was at a pumpkin patch today and seeing those kids go crazy made me realize that pumpkins occupy some in-between space of not quite plant matter and not quite sentient living being. A line the eggplant also walks on but never so gracefully.
Since I sort of got laid off from work, I’ve been taking a lot of time for myself. I spend about 13 hours at school some days, just hanging out with my friends. The sweetest thing has started to happen, when we leave we say “See you tomorrow!” and we actually mean it. I’m going to graduate in December, and I’m going to have to find a job soon, but for now I’d...
So shaving your chin with a straight razor is the hardest thing on earth. I think this is why the goatee was invented.
But I don't know.
How completely absurd would it be to answer your child truthfully the first time he or she asks you what happens after we die? To look at them and say I have no freaking idea. Nobody does. Some people say they do but the validity of their claims is often called into question. Has any parent ever done this, or are a child’s eyes too precious to tell that particular truth to?
I mean I suppose...
So purchasing shaving equipment, I’ve realized is a kind of addiction. When you are a child you want to shave, and then when you start it’s really awesome for a while but then becomes a chore, but one that you must do every day just to feel normal. Then you get a crazy 5+ blade razor that looks like a spaceship and requires batteries for some reason and it’s awesome for a while...
I'm not so sure.
Out with a friend at our usual spot, I ordered three tacos, two I knew I would like, and one I knew I would not. I had had the one before and it was fairly terrible. When my friend asked me why I would order something I knew I wouldn’t like I started to think about it, but pretended I knew all along. I’ve got to mix it up every once in a while. There’s no reason we can’t...
A friend of mine was recently telling me how he never has the chance to see this girl that he knows at school, because when he’s in class she’s free and when he’s free she’s in class. I told him that this was a simple problem of two people existing in the same space but not in the same time. How many times do you think you and she have walked the exact same path in the...
It'll turn a Lay into a Specialist
The best thing about evolution is that if someone doesn’t believe in it (or even if somebody simply doesn’t understand how it works) all you have to do is be like “Let’s all go to the Galapagos!!!”
It’s impossible not to believe in it there.
“Into space, a stream of cat atoms. It’d be funny if life weren’t so...”
– The scientist Andre telling his wife he disintegrated the family cat “perfectly” but failed at reintegrating it. The Fly (1958)
1 tag
Just came back from watching The Thing. It was pretty good. It’s going to be nice when it comes out on DVD because this one and the 1982 movie lead right into each other, so watching them back-to-back is going to be fun.
Something weird was going on though, it’s saturday night, at a movie theater and the theater was empty. No kids, no teenagers, the only people there were like over...
“You know what shows I don’t like on the history channel? Those alien shows...”
– Madd Zach
8
I asked a friend what she liked the best about me, expecting a compliment about something to do with my internal character which I was going to take pride in, because I’m an emotionally intelligent and well-developed human being. But she said she liked my hair, which was a much better response than anything I was expecting.
Me: I feel bad for throwing all this away.
James: You should, you barely ate anything.
Me: OK. Now that I know that my emotions are consistent with social norms I feet great. Imagine if I didn't feel bad for wasting that food, I'd be some kind of psycho.
I find it hard to believe that “washing dishes” actually washes dishes. I mean come on! There is no way on earth the dishes I just washed are clean.
1. I soaked them with other dirty dishes, so they were just floating around in filth.
2. I scrubbed them with sponges and rags that had just scrubbed other dirty dishes.
3. I dried them off with a towel which I do not know the history...
Have you ever known someone in a long term relationship who you thought was just ok, but then when they’re single they become super attractive? This has been happening to me a lot lately. I swear these people are emitting some kind of pheromones or something.
Time to play How Much Am I Willing To Spend on Huey Lewis & The News Tickets From Ruthless Ticket Websites.
OMEGA-3
I ate a huge salmon steak earlier. This was the first time I’ve enjoyed salmon and eaten an entire portion. I swear it must have lubed up the axons of neurons I never use because my mind feels like it’s in overdrive. I understand everything.
