July 2010
WatchI just got a few hours of sleep and dreamnt of Professor Zbigniew M. Stadnik, author of Physical Properties of Quasi-Crystals, among other things.
We both couldn’t get up a staircase.
Never underestimate a heart that ticks.
The human heart is remarkable in that it is at its strongest after it has been weakened.
Fascinating.
The only thing that is comparable to watching someone accidentally hitting their teeth while playing the Jew’s Harp is watching a baseball player at bat get hit by a wild pitch.
It’s an intense pain expressed not through traditional means, but through a look of anger and disappointment.
Dave Matthews Band - Ants Marching
Hat o' Restaurants Turn, Turn, Turn, Tell Us What...
Every time my friends ask me if we should use the Hat o’ Restaurants or pick a restaurant on our own I feel like the oldest member of the elder council who has to constantly remind the others of the old ways.
Should we use The Hat?
The hat must always make the decisions! There is no free will here.
Do you know how much negative energy was required to imbue that hat? I had to sacrifice...
My Mom Thinks Yahoo! News Is The Entire Internet
Mom: Did you see on the internet about [explains news story to me]
Me: No.
Mom: It's on the internet right now.
The Difference Between Engineering and Liberal...
Me: I'm going to have five female professors next semester.
Nick: I'm going to have five old, greasy, smelly dudes with bad accents.
melanyouth:
(via jacobmartinez):
GPOYW
I love this. Who made it?
I didn’t get the artists name, but it’s titled, The Sorrow of The White Rabbit and it’s on display in the Lewis Gallery in the downtown library in Portland, Maine
EDIT: Actually, I did get her name. It’s by Elizabeth Ostrander.
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In a box in my closet.
Something hard Something soft Something clawed Something sweet Something bright Something purple And the world at your feet
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
A while back I got a large envelope in the mail. I get packages in the mail regularly, but never anything resembling a letter. The handwriting was female but unfamiliar and there was no return address. I felt it up and down before opening it and could tell that it was stuffed with what felt like folded up papers.
I slit one end of the envelope open and a picture of me fell out.
I flipped out.
...
Van Morrison - Wild Night
And all the girls walk...
This Post Has No Title
Whole milk
Standardized milk
2%
1%
Skimmed milk
Strawberry milk
Chocolate milk
Bees Milk (Honey mixed in)
Almond milk
Goat milk
Yak milk
Buttermilk (shots)
White Russians
Unpasteurized milk
If I had a lot of money I’d fulfill my dream of owning a milk bar. These are just some of the drinks that I’d serve.
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You'll all have to come here and hear it in person
I keep wanting to write the story about how I saved my former workplace from a serious pump system malfunction that would have taken countless lives by following instructions over the phone from the manufacturer of the pump system, but I just can’t seem to put it down on paper.
Just picture every movie involving a submarine ever, where one guy has to dive into a flooding compartment with a...
fuuuuhh...
jdela:
my stomach hurts so bad today. I don’t know if it’s because my body is adjusting from when I was sick earlier this week and couldn’t eat or if it was the meds I was taking that are trying to clear my system. ughhhh! At least my stomach disorder isn’t as bad as it used to be. My tummy used to hurt every single second of every single day, but if I didn’t eat, it would be fine. But none of...
I have so much crap.
I had a freak-out today and tried to clean my room. I worked for hours and only managed to clean the top of my dresser. I wish throwing things away wasn’t so tedious. You have to put them in a trashbag, then the bag in the can, then wait til trash day. It’s terrible. I wish I could just phase this junk out of existence.
Lies I Tell People
Any time someone asks me “what [I’m] doing tonight” and I know that they are going to invite me out to “party” with them, or, in some rare cases, to their church group, I just stand there and say that I’m not doing anything. Nothing at all. Completely free.
For some reason I can’t tell that lie. I can’t ever say that I’m busy with other plans,...
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Confession #4
Pretty much every video game I’ve ever played I’ve won the boss battles through some kind of glitch.
Half-Life - a boss jumped in the air and hung there where I was able (and gladly) shot him mercilessly until he was dead.
Resident Evil 0 - Somehow I was able to kill the Tyrant with one shot. He fell down and I waited for about 30 min thinking he was going to get back up, but he...
“Hey, has anyone found a use for the stuff thats left in the nut milk cloth? I...”
– TwentyBux0rz on how to make almond milk
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Excerpts From My Future Memoirs #2
She was like the queen of bad decisions, so of course I couldn’t resist.
Previously.
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Excerpts From My Future Memoirs #1
I changed my mind a lot during that time. I remember old middle and high school year books full of messages from people I had never talked to telling me not to change over the summer. At first I thought that those messages were some kind of hidden wisdom that I had not yet learned. I tried to stay the same, I strove to prevent some kind of outwardly visible change, which never actually occurred,...
I'm sure there's a moral in there somewhere.
Once upon a time, when I was very young, I had this major crush on a girl. She sat next to me in science class. I planned, of course, to never tell her how I felt. At my house, on my computer desk there was an old pen that had been there for as long as I could remember. The cap had always been fastened to the back in the opened position, so that the pen was ready to write. Every once in a...
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WatchUhh … .
Everyone read this first so you know what the hell I’m (trying) to talk about.
Also: Aspiration
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Gulp!
Well I’ve been on vacation and it looks like I let my domain name lapse for this blog without realizing it and someone else grabbed it.
Shame on me.
The ONLY explanation.
I bought a Jaw Harp and I can’t get that shit to make any sound at all. I’m doing everything right as far as I can tell. The only reasonable explanation is that my brain is so large in my head that my skull does not resonate at all.
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Road Trippin'
My mother seems to have set down her camera (which incidentally is my old camera) at a truck stop several hundred miles away.
Rather unfortunate though it is, I feel fine even though it is the first digital camera I had and the first thing I ever saved up for with my paychecks from my first job at 16.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I knew it was going to be around 500 dollars and I was...
We're Not Candy
I had a dream that I was babysitting a little girl and I left her for a second and when I came back she had got into my mom’s medicine stash and there were pills everywhere.
I was like “NOOOOOO! Did you eat one of these?” But she said she didn’t, so then I said, “These pills taste pretty bad, huh?” and she nodded her head, and I was like “HAH! How do you...
Most terrible secrets #1
Between the age of 10 and 11 I subsisted entirely on corndogs.
Help yourself.
I often carry fruit roll-ups in my car because they are so juicy they cure both hunger and thirst.
The More You Know
In my senior year of high school I got the same parking spot every day. How did I do it? I used some yellow chalk and wrote RESERVED on it.
Sox
I have a thing for socks. Sometimes I’ll wear two or three different pairs a day.
If you got me socks for any occasion (including Christmas) I would be delighted. BUT none of that patterned or designed shit. I will not wear socks with any visible markings, nor socks in any color other than black (or maybe dark brown).
I need a large box
I think instead of acquiring more items on this trip I’ve actually lost possessions. I am bringing a few things back, however, I did not acquire one item I wanted in Cooperstown, which I would have liked.
What’s that story with the girl who has a mirror, a comb, and some other item, which she throws out behind her to slow the badguys who are chasing her?
Anyway, those are the kinds...
“Microscopic proof of sexual readiness.”
– Some show my mom and dad are watching (about you).