February 2012
Blood pronounced /blud/
I’ve never understood all the half-marathon braggadocio. You did half of something other people do? I don’t put a bumper sticker on my car for eating half a footlong sandwich.
I donated blood today for the first time ever. They said I would feel a satisfied feeling at the thought of saving lives but I didn’t. I like looking at blood though.
I also could have given everyone...
I just cleaned up the rubbers on my ping pong paddle and man it feels good. All I want to do is go bust some skulls but I have no one to play with.
Pretty Didn't Matter
The one-liners in Pretty Little Liars are out of this world.
When we met she had a pair of brand new white shoes that she was afraid of getting muddy. We stepped very carefully in those days. A year after we lost touch I saw her and her shoes now tinted brown and ripping at the seams. I met someone who I didn’t have to step so carefully around.
There is a guy that goes to my school (or...
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An old lady talked to me in line at Wal*Mart and somehow conned me into giving her my email and phone number for some kind of pyramid scheme she’s involved in.
Let me dissect that:
An old lady attempted communication with me and succeeded, violating my Never Talk To Strangers policy. Mind control? Extreme Suggestibility Spray?
She asked if I needed “additional income” and said...
Watch Paul McCartney & Wings was so much better than The Beatles. Accept it.
That's What. That's What.
Liz: Come on, Nick, let's go!
Me: He's not coming, he's doing something with [PERSON OF INTEREST].
Liz: FUUUUUUU—
Me: You can't get in the way of that, Liz, it's love.
Liz: It's not love it's one-sided affection.
Me: Yeah, that's what love is. . .
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Question
Suppose we perfect interstellar travel and find no inhabited planets in our neck of the woods but plenty of planets which could some day support life. Do you think that it would be right, or indeed, our responsibility to “seed” these planets with genetic material that may someday be the groundwork for their entire existence?
January 2012
Netflix'n The Night Away
Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior isn’t good. It was barely even trying to be good.
And they use the words “ingress” and “egress” way too often. The only person that’s ever said that in any other show was Lt. Cmdr. Data in TNG.
How To Be Not-Sad. A Few Simple But Not...
Step Zero: Identify and pinpoint what maladaptive* thoughts and feelings are and where they originate.
This is an absolutely essential step for any kind of therapy but can often be difficult for people who have never really thought about these kinds of things.
You want to be able to identify how you feel and what you’re thinking at any given point in time.
Also, be able to identify what...
The man asked me what kind of sauce I wanted with my chicken nuggets and I froze up and said barbecue when really I should have said ranch. I really wanted ranch.
Saffron is actually the most expensive thing on earth.
Stellar.io is not going to go anywhere. You guys can trust me on this one.
The entire concept of shaving is so weird to me. I scrape a sharpened piece of steel across my skin to...
I didn’t go to my cousin’s funeral because I had nothing to wear. For some reason I have no black slacks. Every time I buy slacks my weight changes such that I only get to wear them once and then I can never fit in them again.
I miss 2 years ago.
It’s not raining so I think I’m going to run to the store to get some ingredients I need to make zarda. All of my meals are...
Words are bolded for no reason.
I kind of don’t want to do anything this entire year just in case the world actually ends. I basically have a reverse case of the “What would you do if you had one day to live?” thing. I wouldn’t do anything, because nothing I did would matter.
I think a bug bit me behind my ear. Either that or I have a pimple behind my ear. I actually hope there is a bug in my bed...
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Just came up with the most ingenious plan.
I will encourage every couple I know to get married, thereby eliminating a potential mate and reducing the number of competition by 1.
If everybody in the world pairs off then I will be left with the most undesirable woman on the planet (after I kill all the dudes left over).
I am both willing to, sink that low, and to spend the rest of my life honing my killing abilities instead of...
“‘If you can forgive me, forgive me,’ said her eyes, ‘I am so...”
– Princess Ekaterina “Kitty” Alexandrovna Shcherbatskaya and Konstantin Dmitrievich Levin via a series of looks after she rejects his marriage proposal.
Tolstoy, L. (2003). Anna Karenina. (Garnett, C., Trans. Stade, G., Ed.). New York: Barnes & Noble Books. (Original work published...
Ahmed
When I was in high school this guy from Saudi Arabia named Ahmed passed through San Antonio because his dad was doing some military thing here, and so for a few days he had to go to my school for some reason. (??? Actually the more I think about this story the weirder it seems, but it happened).
One of our teachers picked two groups of us to hang out with Ahmed after school for an hour,...
I’ve been focusing a lot on people’s ears lately and it’s weirding me out. Everybody’s ears are different and I don’t like it. I wish everyone had the same ears.
I’m actually having a hard time believing that life itself is anything like it is in Felicity. I guess that’s why it’s a TV show.
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Want Ad:
Need someone to help me make empanadas.
Also need someone to help me eat empanadas.
Inquire within.
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“An ugly, good-natured man, as he considered himself, might, he supposed, be...”
– Tolstoy, L. (2003). Anna Karenina. (Garnett, C., Trans. Stade, G., Ed.). New York: Barnes & Noble Books. (Original work published 1877).
December 2011
Ruining classics
Sometimes I like to change all the words in songs (see this post which was a repost from my old Myspace blog)
But also, sometimes I like to subtly change just a few words in a song. Like on Tom Petty’s “American Girl” my version goes like:
Oh yeah, all right Take it easy, baby Make me laugh all night She was an American girl
All's Well That Roswell
So I’ve looked into getting the Roswell series of books, I think there are about 17 in total including the original Roswell High series, the series produced during the show, and the series produced after the show ended.
As I expected most of the books are on Amazon for literally pennies, but a few of the books are unbelievably rare, particularly Roswell Turnabout, the last Roswell book ever...
Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers - American Girl...
PBQRS
I had the greatest idea today. I’m going to invent a public bathroom quality ranking system. This way people can rate bathrooms and tell other people.
It’s going to be a range of options which will go something like this (In order of quality):
High-end Luxury Hotel Bathroom
Well-maintained Major Airport Bathroom
Nice Truck Stop Bathroom
Bad Truck Stop Bathroom
...
“I am a useless piece of human garbage.”
– Harris, R. (2008). The happiness trap: How to stop struggling and start living. Boston: Trumpeter.
Taking quotes out of context from psychology and self-help books is one of my favorite pastimes.
“Her old school friend lived in a studio in Chelsea. I could see them through the...”
– Tony Wendice describing the evidence of his wife’s love affair. From, Dial ‘M’ For Murder.
Hitchcock, A. (Producer & Director). (1954). Dial ‘m’ for murder [Motion picture]. United States: Warner Bros.
Watch…
Menudo; Twix again; Painting; Pencils; Fruit cake
Nobody likes menudo until they get older, because the older you get the more your stomach wants to eat other stomachs.
I went to Sam’s today and thought about buying a huge box of king size Twix, just to show myself. I didn’t. But I bought a 4.5-lb bag of hot tamales.
I started a painting that I will likely never finish. In reality I started this painting last week, but all I did was...
“Recently I took my dog for a walk in the park and, he rolled around in the...”
– Harris, R. (2008). The happiness trap: How to stop struggling and start living. Boston: Trumpeter.
Physical intimacy; Twix candy bars; Ping Pong
I still haven’t watched any Roswell, but the netflix episode summaries for the next few shows are promising me “heated make-out sessions”, so I’m kind of excited about that but also kind of sad in the way that you always know that once you progress physically in a relationship you can never go back to previous stages (“Like my mother said, you can’t go back to...
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All day
I’m amazed by how The Cooking Channel is 100000 times better than The Food Network. You have no idea how much I know about clam chowder and salt cod. No idea.
I’ve been eating nothing but hot pockets for the past week. I’m not even hungry when I eat them but I eat them anyway.
